Soulmates: A Video Documentary by Andrea Wiley

By Robin Caldwell

The trailer for Andrea Wiley’s Soulmates was shuttled between all of my single friends and me, the origin of which, I have no idea. My friend, Denise, was the first to purchase the DVD, and that was not surprising given she’s the trailblazer in the bunch – the one who will try something first. But I was very surprised when my cousin, a minister, asked me if I had seen the documentary. I said no, but he said he owned it. A few weeks later, his wife called and summoned me to a gathering of all of the women in our clan – married and unmarried –to view Soulmates.

Andrea Wiley, who is married, says in the very beginning of Soulmates that her impetus for producing the documentary were all of her single, Christian, and female friends who were unmarried. She felt as though there had to be some reason why so many were single, and in some cases, unhappily so. God bless her for being so empathetic to the plight of her friends who represent a vast majority of black, Christian women in the United States, perhaps even North America. (Who knows? Maybe the problem is global.)

Andrea Wiley

The statistics quoted in the documentary are staggering and mind-blowing. I was stuck on the first one that stated that well over 40% of single, black women in the United States, have never been married. Further along, Wiley shares what percentage of us will actually marry, but I have chosen to forget that statistic, because it was a painful reminder of my condition. At best, I prayed that my friends would escape that last group of women, get married soon, and enjoy their lives.

Soulmates is absolutely touching and unquestionably thought-provoking. Initially, I wanted my married relatives to view it as a means of understanding my plight, but the tables turned as I began to understand their plights a little better. As my brilliant (I’m biased) and beautiful, married cousin Ceray brought to our attention: “Privileged people tend to take their privilege for granted.” She referenced the fact that many married women tend to covet singleness and singles covet being married.