When I Fall in Love

By Robin Caldwell

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore, I have continued to extend faithful love to you…” (Jeremiah 31: 3)

I cannot recall the exact day or time I fell in love with Jesus. It took a long while that’s for sure. For a number of years, I wouldn’t say I loved him for fear of (1) being tested and (2) lying. But that’s when I thought loving Jesus was like loving a man or any human for that matter.

Intellectually, I knew I needed to love him, and that it made sense to love the One who died for me. But I just couldn’t say it, thinking love is an action verb and my actions didn’t always line up with loving the King of kings and the Lord of lords.

However, I liked Him an awful lot, which meant more to me. Jesus had my respect, honor and good intentions.

The thing I liked most about Jesus was his coolness. With all due respect, He was a really cool cat with a few street qualities I admired.

For example, when Peter chopped off Malchus’ ear, Jesus didn’t ask Peter if he’d lost his mind though He probably looked at him that way; He politely reattached the ear and told the disciple to put his sword away. He didn’t chastise His boy in front of an enemy, which was true loyalty. I respect that. And Jesus used the opportunity to reveal His lordship, with a miracle, to a man who’d tried to capture Him.

Another favorite passage of Scripture reflects a Jesus who walked in awesome power. He had swagger, as Diddy calls it. And His swagger was never diminished in the face of human authority. Pontius Pilate tried to bully the Lord by asking, “‘Are You not speaking to me? Do You not know that I have power to crucify You, and power to release You?’ Jesus answered, ‘You could have no power at all against Me unless it had been given you from above.’” (John 19: 10-11, NKJ)

Now, that’s real swagger. Jesus let Pilate know in no uncertain terms, “That power you have is nothing compared to Mine.”

Jesus’ conversation with the Samaritan woman is absolutely priceless and I would count it as a pivotal point in my falling in love with Him. She, like me, was a hard sell.

Though He spoke of her beliefs with expert knowledge, it wasn’t until this exchange that He won her over: “Jesus said to her, ‘Go, call your husband, and come here.’ The woman answered and said, ‘I have no husband.’ Jesus said to her, ‘You have well said, “I have no husband,” for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; in that you spoke truly.’The woman said to Him, ‘Sir, I perceive that You are a prophet.’” (John 4: 16-18, NKJ)

Jesus told her the truth and she appreciated it. He never condemned her for shacking up; He just made it next to impossible for her to continue. She knew he wasn’t a prophet. She knew exactly who He was and ran to tell everybody.

By the time I marinated on Jesus’ rescue of the adulteress, I was falling in love. He lovingly protected a woman brought to Him for condemnation by the scribes and Pharisees.

‘“Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned. But what do You say?’ This they said, testing Him, that they might have something of which to accuse Him. But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, as though He did not hear.So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, ‘He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.’ And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground.Then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, ‘Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?’ She said, ‘No one, Lord.’ And Jesus said to her, ‘Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.’ (John 8: 3-11 NKJ)

I honestly wish I could say Jesus had me at hello, but He didn’t. Ours was a slow brewing love, on my part; He loved me first and deepest before our formal introduction. I just had to get to know Him better and when I did …

The love overwhelmed me. Jesus had me saying and doing things I thought unimaginable.

These arms would shoot up in praise and worship during Sunday service. Normally, I stood only to sing, and sat quietly soaking in the message. I don’t know but maybe I fancied myself deep.

The first time I heard myself shout "Hallelujah" I was startled and reckoned it was time to change churches. All of the rolling eyes accompanied by grunts and groans were the red flags. (“Will someone inform Sister Caldwell, we don’t do that here?”)

Prayer time would fly by without me falling asleep or losing my train of thought. Instead of skimming through a list of requests, I’d actually talk to God about everything – my job, fears of aging, desires to cut off a few ears … It was a privilege to be in His presence.

And at some point, before going off to sleep, I’d begun the habit of whispering, "I love you, Lord." There wasn’t a trace of fear or trepidation in my voice or in those declarations.

I meant what I said.

You see, a chief issue I’d grappled with was equating His love for me with the tentative, conditional love human beings offer. I was looking for the catch and there are none.

Jesus’ patience with me was phenomenal. He met me where I was and wooed me. He knew I needed to like Him first, because He knew I loved deeply.

Nat King Cole crooned about my love affair with Jesus: “When I fall in love it will be forever or I’ll never fall in love ... When I give my heart it will be completely or I’ll never give my heart … And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too is when I fall in love with you.”

Praise God, this love is eternal and everlasting. It’s so priceless.