The Twilight Zone

Not one thing made sense and according to my friends and the Word of God, I was to be thankful to God for even The Twilight Zone. “Thank Him in all things, sis,” they said. And, I was suppose to bless and praise His holy name in the midst of what appeared to be the most bizarre and craziest moment in my life.

Keeping a happy face when I want to wail has never been my gift.

Ilka, my sister friend, snapped her fingers in my face, loudly. “Rob! Rob, come back, girl. You’re getting that look in your eyes, again. Don’t go there.”

“Go where?!” I asked, looking at her as sanely as possible. I really wanted to say that I thought I deserved to look a little crazy given I didn’t understand the sudden turn of events. I dared to cry lest she slap me silly and call 9-1-1, so I simply sucked it up and played okay though institutionalization would be an answer to two of my three issues.

Later in the evening, I asked another friend, Denise, “Is this some crazy mess or what?” Before she could open her mouth, I continued my rant on the unfairness of life and all of its unpredictable twists and turns. During one of the few times I let her get a word in edgewise, I interrupted her –she paused entirely too long—and I began yet another rant-slash-meandering.

How could God allow this? What did I do? What do I need to do? Am I crazy, Lord? What didn’t I do? What is God doing? Why…? Why not…? Where…? Who? How…?

Denise assured me of something I hadn’t even considered – I really didn’t need to understand what was going on but only believe that God was in control.

“Remember, ‘trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your path,’?” she asked.

I remembered. And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the beginning of my exit from The Twilight Zone.

Too often I, and many other Christians, will wrack our brains trying to understand circumstances and situations that defy our earthly logic. We, in effect, want and need an answer for everything. I know I do. I try to intellectualize everything – everything! If I cannot wrap my brain around something, then I panic. And the reason why I panic is because I falsely believe that I have to fix everything that goes wrong in my life – whether I caused it or not.