Divorce? Stay in the Fight!

By Quaford Coleman teen talk, Gospel Today

Question: It's been a couple of years since my parents divorced. I was fourteen when it started. I had no idea how to deal with it, and I was confused for the longest time. I started to blame myself for all the problems that my parents had been through. I often wondered why this happened to my family and what I did wrong. I would go to a certain place that no one knew about and I would sit there for hours thinking about my family and I would cry to myself. I was sad, lonely, scared and very angry. It seemed my world was destroyed. I started messing up in school, began drinking, doing a little drugs and hanging out. I felt I was crashing and burning.

I began to write poetry at the time to channel my frustrations. One of my writings is entitled, “I Already Know!” “Now, parents of the world who are thinking about divorce, I have something I want to share with you. Please listen to me and do your best to comprehend what I have to say; for I feel you have done something wrong. Here is what I have to tell you: Through my eyes, I see a lot. I hear your lies with these ears I've got. At night I just can’t sleep, you guys fight all night long. At times I wish I were six feet deep, instead of crying and singing this sad song. Why do you treat me so bad? Why? You fight and ask me to choose a side. I have no choice but to lie, no choice but to run, cry and hide. You ask me, why are you so sad? Why do you do what you do? Why do you act so bad? Can't you see it's you? So Dad’s moving out? You need some time alone? What about me! Please tell me what it's about. I have a right to know. Tell me, why one minute you're happy, and another minute you're sad? No, you don't have to tell me. I already know!

I have been dating a Christian young lady for almost a year. I recently accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. I am doing better in school and I abandoned the alcohol and drugs. I gave God my pain. Now, with the help from my girlfriend, my pastor and the prayers of the saints, I am getting better. But, it's been a fight! What advice do you have for me? —Lorenzo, 16. Philadelphia, PA