Man of the House

By Warren A. Hodge, Jr

“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?“
Amos 3:3

 “And if a house be divided against itself that house cannot stand”
Mark 3:25

No man can correctly lead his house if he doesn’t understand his position and role as a leader of his house.  Any man without control of his house has a house that is out of control.  Men, is your house in order and do you have control?

Even the world, to some degree, realizes that the man is the head of the household.  The wife and kids take on the name of the husband, telemarketers call and ask to speak to the head of the house, at that time the phone is handed over to the husband or father (depends who answers).  Other adults who see kids they know refer to them as the child of their father, “That’s Harold’s son” or “There’s Mr. Johnson’s little girl”.  So, where did the idea come from that the woman wears the pants of the house?  It’s not God’s idea.

Before I go any further I would like to be clear as to the essence of this article.  It’s not to create or promote dominating and dictating men in the household or to degrade women, but it is to inform men of their God given position and responsibility as Man of the House.  Because of Eve’s sin, one of the curses pronounced on women was the desire to be in control of her husband but she would be under the rule of her husband. (“Then he said to the woman, ‘You will bear children with intense pain and suffering. And though you may desire to control your husband, he will be your master.’” (Gen. 3:16, NLT)  The woman was put into a state of subjection to her husband.

When Jesus died and resurrected this curse did not go away just like the curse of suffering during childbirth has not disappeared (women can testify to that a lot better than we ever could).  This is the order that the Almighty God has instituted as a result of sin and even as it being a result of sin there is functional harmony in it.  Two people as the head and no one subject to the other would cause nothing but confusion and discord.  So the husband has his function and the wife has hers.  There is peace and order in the home when the man has rule as he is suppose to. 

I have talked to many men who allow their wives to govern the household and just succumb to the control of their spouse.  Sure, it looks like order, smells like order, and seems like order, but the bottom line is it’s not order.  “There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death”.  Am I saying a man is going to physically die because he allows his wife to have control?  Of course not, but what is being conveyed is that everything that should and could have life in that house does not because the divine order of God is not being followed.

Brothers, some of you can attest to the fact that the word “submit” is a curse word in the eyes of some women.  If you catch some women on the wrong day and utter that “four-letter word“, you will add about 8 more hours to a 24-hour day.  Some of you know what I’m talking about.  On the other side of the coin some of us men need to get the proper understanding of the word “submit” as well.  Don’t equate the word submit to your wife hopping on one leg and barking like a dog at the snap of your fingers.  That will add 10 more hours to a 24-hour day.

When we deal with submission of the husband and wife, the letter to the church at Ephesus is one of the best letters in the Bible to get an understanding of what is meant.  Ephesians 5:21 begins our understanding with, “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.”  There is a submission of both the husband and the wife, therefore brothers; the Word is for us too.

As we read further Paul elaborates on what submitting “one to another” means, he begins with the wives (women), letting them know that the husband is the head of the wife and how wives are to be subject to the husbands as the church is subject to Christ.  Then he elaborates to the men, how we are to love our wives with the same love Christ showed the church; He gave up his life for the church.  We are to love our wives as we love our own bodies and when we love our wives we are actually loving ourselves.  In verse 33, he sums everything up, “So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”  

The man and the woman have both been ordained to submit to one another but it’s just a matter of following the proper course of submission and subjection.  When the woman doesn’t submit and subject as she is instructed to she is out of order.  When the man doesn’t submit as he is instructed to he is out of order.  But watch this, because the man is the head, it is his responsibility to enforce or re-enforce the Godly principles of submission and subjection in the house.  Eve disobeyed and bit the apple first, but who did God come looking for??  This entire world is imputed with sin because of Adam’s sin, not Eve’s.

Men, order, if you don’t already have, is something that has to be worked at to get it and worked at to maintain it.

A woman of God (a.k.a. “good thing”) is a blessing.  Why?  When you have a woman that wholeheartedly subjects and submits to God, you have a woman that obeys the Word of God and therefore her curse to control is under control by the Spirit of God which allows you to be the Man of the House and allows your house to have order.