Father and Son

By Ronald Stephens

“He will turn the heart of the fathers to their children and the heart of the children to their fathers. Malachi 4:6 (KJV)

Being a father has given me a small glimpse into God’s relationship with His Son and with us, His children.

Throughout the Word of God, we see the father-child relationship esteemed as honorable, desirable and at the very center of God’s will. After all, didn’t God send His Son, Jesus Christ, to Earth to bring His lost children to Him? (Galatians 4:4-6, KJV)

Fewer things are closer to God’s heart than fathers connecting with their children. And so is with me and my soon to be two-year-old son, Justin.

When I first saw him, I was overwhelmed. He was so small, helpless, yet beautiful. At that moment I knew that I loved him and would give my all for him.

I believe this is how our Heavenly Father sees and feels about us. As born-again believers, we have been adopted into the God’s own family. In Paul’s letter to the Romans, he writes that we, “have received the Spirit of adoption in which we cry, Abba (Father)! Father!” Paul then he goes on to say that “the Spirit Himself [thus] testifies together with our own spirit, [assuring us] that we are children of God”. (Romans 8:14-66 Amplified) This is a fact we need to keep at the forefront of our thinking and rejoice at it. We are children of the Most High God!

Now, as earthly fathers, our relationship with our children should in some ways reflect how God deals with us, His children. This is what my son has (and continues) to teach me. Please indulge me while I share a few of the truths I’ve garnered so far.

Right off the bat is patience. “For ye have need of patience…” (Hebrews 10:36). If there is anything that being a father has taught me is how to be patient. At times I find myself recalling how patient God has been with me when dealing with my son. There is a lot Justin does not understand and it takes time and patience to teach him what is right. It’s the same with us in relation to God’s omniscience. Sometimes, we just don’t get it. And, until we do, God works with us in loving patience. Fathers, we have to do the same with our children. We need to take the time to teach them in all things and most importantly, the things of God.

Next up, be slow to anger. “The LORD is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy.” (Psalm 145:8) As Fathers, there are times when our children anger us. During those times it’s wise to use God as an example. God is full of great mercy and compassion towards us. We should be the same towards our children. Don’t lash out at them or operate in anger. But try to understand the situation that brought on that anger and see it from the child’s point of view. This is mercy and compassion in operation. God often looks at us in our fallen and limited state and deals with us in compassion and mercy. We can’t be any different with our children.

Third, do not provoke them. “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”(Colossians 3:21 NKJV) The New Living Translation makes it a little plainer, “Fathers, don't aggravate your children. If you do, they will become discouraged and quit trying.”

And better still, the Amplified Bible puts it this way, “Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or fret your children [do not be hard on them or harass them], lest they become discouraged and sullen and morose and feel inferior and frustrated. [Do not break their spirit]”.

As Fathers, we have the awesome power within our hands to mold our children’s lives and their futures. The words we speak to them can either make them or break them for the rest of their lives. Take just a moment to think about that. How many of us have “quit trying” and given up on some hope or dream because of some belittling words issued in anger from a father or mother? Many of us, till this day, still carry with us the scars and wounds inflicted by our own fathers (or lack of a father)? Do we want this for our children? The answer is “No”! We are to speak words of life and encouragement over our kids. Words of blessing and love. This is how we keep them from becoming discouraged from giving up.

Bringing it all home is love. Fathers, love your children - in spite of their faults, their mistakes and their differences from you. Learn to love them as your Heavenly Father loves you. This requires much humility and sacrifice from us. We can also look to Jesus for an example of this. “And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient untodeath, even the death of the cross”

The Word of God tells us that we are to leave an inheritance for our children. The truest sign of love towards our children is that we pass on as an inheritance our faith-walk/relationship with Christ. “Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God”. (Mark 10:14, KJV)

If our kids learn and grow by watching us do the best we can possibly do to walk with God, then that will serve them more than all the gold and silver in the earth. This Father’s Day, let's start anew by becoming fathers to our children as God is a Father to us. There isn’t any better way.

Happy Father’s Day!

Feedback - R. Lewis Stephens is a Christian writer and social commentator with a clear message, a style that is readable and a heart after God. In addition he produces and hosts his own Gospel/Holy Hip Hop radio show.