My Storm

What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

I immediately called my girlfriend and cried. I had heard of this disease and I even know someone with Lupus. I got a mental picture of that person in my mind and panicked some more.

Lupus, an auto- immune disease, causes the body to turn on itself or act as its own enemy. The immune system cannot distinguish between the good cells and bad cells so it attacks everything.

Lupus can manifest itself as a systemic disorder meaning it effects its victims differently. In my case, my skin and joints are affected. It also attacks major organs such as the heart, lings, kidneys, and even the brain. Thankfully, people are living normal lives with this disease.

Adjusting to the lifestyle changes and mental anxiety is the hardest part of coping with this disease not to mention the severity of the disease.

The moment I learned of this invader in my life, I was not trying to hear anything about God making a way. I felt like God had punished me for all of the times I disobeyed his instructions. Be clear, if God has been trying to get your attention and we continue to walk in disobedience, He will allow the alarm to get louder and louder and the alarm will sometimes come in the form of a storm.

With any normal person, the questions came daily as to why I was chosen to carry this cross. I questioned God because I didn’t understand the purpose for this in my life. As I started to see physical changes as a result of my disease this presented new demons that would try to attach themselves to my mind and self-image. You can’t even imagine how it feels to be in ‘perfect’ health just six months prior, then have it make a 360’ turn. That rocked my entire world.

It is amazing how certain things will cause us to examine issues that have been hidden for years.

During the last six months of that year up to the present I have been forced to face the mirror and really see who I am. It was a struggle some days to keep my mind focused that everything was working together for my good.