My Storm

Have you ever felt abandoned? Have you ever had the feeling that every wall in every room in the house was caving in on you? It’s these issues of life called storms that have a way of showing up in our lives, without invitation and without warning. They come at a time when we feel like we just can’t take another blow. There’s good news though. With every storm comes a lesson that will either make or break us. But because we belong to God, we know that whatever the storm, it was surely sent to make us.

We all talk about our great faith and how much of it we have until we are forced to use it. When in fact active faith is exactly what it takes to survive any storm. I remember my storm. That was a defining moment in my life because from this storm, which I am about to share, has come a new and better understanding of who I am and whose I am. Today, my relationship with the Lord is so much richer and deeper and getting deeper everyday because of the new storms that pop up from time to time. Please, be blessed and encouraged by My Storm.

I remember it like it was yesterday. June 2000 as I sat in my office in Columbia awaiting test results from the doctor. I told myself that all I had was arthritis or something. The previous November I began having all types of joint aches and some days I could not even squeeze a tube of toothpaste. I didn't get alarmed, I just attributed it to the years of weight training and as I got older I figured it caught up with me. As time passed, the joint pain got too intense and I suffered through seven months of symptoms before I took the advice of a dear friend and went to the doctor and had blood tests done. Isn’t it is amazing how a 10-minute telephone call can change your life forever?

I can remember hearing the doctor give me the “good news” about not having arthritis but quickly approaching was the tidal wave that would swallow me into the abyss of panic.

“Your test results came back positive for Lupus”. At that very moment I lost all reasoning. I could not hear another word the doctor said. After about 30 seconds I regained my composure and listened to his recommendations then I was advised to see a rheumatologist to find out what stage I was in.

What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

I immediately called my girlfriend and cried. I had heard of this disease and I even know someone with Lupus. I got a mental picture of that person in my mind and panicked some more.

Lupus, an auto- immune disease, causes the body to turn on itself or act as its own enemy. The immune system cannot distinguish between the good cells and bad cells so it attacks everything.

Lupus can manifest itself as a systemic disorder meaning it effects its victims differently. In my case, my skin and joints are affected. It also attacks major organs such as the heart, lings, kidneys, and even the brain. Thankfully, people are living normal lives with this disease.

Adjusting to the lifestyle changes and mental anxiety is the hardest part of coping with this disease not to mention the severity of the disease.

The moment I learned of this invader in my life, I was not trying to hear anything about God making a way. I felt like God had punished me for all of the times I disobeyed his instructions. Be clear, if God has been trying to get your attention and we continue to walk in disobedience, He will allow the alarm to get louder and louder and the alarm will sometimes come in the form of a storm.

With any normal person, the questions came daily as to why I was chosen to carry this cross. I questioned God because I didn’t understand the purpose for this in my life. As I started to see physical changes as a result of my disease this presented new demons that would try to attach themselves to my mind and self-image. You can’t even imagine how it feels to be in ‘perfect’ health just six months prior, then have it make a 360’ turn. That rocked my entire world.

It is amazing how certain things will cause us to examine issues that have been hidden for years.

During the last six months of that year up to the present I have been forced to face the mirror and really see who I am. It was a struggle some days to keep my mind focused that everything was working together for my good.

I considered it to be a blessing to be surrounded by people who encouraged me in the power of prayer for healing. What’s more important is that I learned to pray and seek the Lord in a different way for myself. The word of the Lord says in I Samuel 30:6, “…but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.”

This storm brought about a new level of growth for me that I had to grasp if I was to receive healing for my mind, body and spirit. God can do anything except fail. This brought me closer to the Lord and developed a more intimate search for the full purpose for my life. I remember telling myself “when this is all over, God must receive full glory. He will see to it.”

Today, I am living in victory with my disease under control. Everything that deteriorated when I was first diagnosed has returned new and healthier. I know it is the power of healing from God who promised to be my Jehovah Ropha- God my Healer.

This is but another piece of my destiny to encourage someone who may be facing a life changing experience. I do not know how long my storm will last, but even if the storm does not cease, I promised God I would work for him and bless him no matter what comes. My pastor once said, “If God put it on your plate, He knows you can handle it.” I do not know what is on your plate today, but you can make it through. Even now I see where the Lord has preserved me in this situation.

I cannot die now.