Bliss and Frustration: 32 is a trip!

By Tangela Green

Life is so different at 32.

My mind is changing, my body is changing and my desires are reaching into a higher range of Glory. The ministry that I have been given is flourishing in praise and worship and the Word… It seems that I see colors more clearly now – I can't explain it. The Lord satisfies me with good things; He just showed me the difference between planting my seed versus burying it –outwardly they look the same but your actions afterwards dictate whether you planted or buried. Do you moan, weep and go away grieved and or do you return often to weed, and water, expecting a harvest??? Are you broke? God gives seed to the sower not the grave digger – consider your ways - an awesome word in due season!!! I'm so thankful.

Sounds great right, and yes, it’s all true but just a few days after experiencing this great revelation and contentment I had one of my most severe “emotional tantrums” ever…let me start at the beginning:

You probably won't believe this but it's so AWESOME I just have to share it. I'm 32 and a virgin – I just turned 32 but I’ve been a virgin forever!!!

Well, I got a “little” frustrated on my birthday and decided that I was sick of waiting to be married - because it just doesn't seem like that's gonna happen not to mention the fact that dating is a real drag. Guys are attracted to me and even applaud my initial warning that “you have to be licensed to operate this equipment.” But when they realize I'm REALLY not having sex until there’s a marriage license on file they gradually stop calling; it’s happened over and over again.

Well, I had a talk with the Lord aboutthis in the car on the way to pick upbeauty supplies. I apologized in advance and told him that I hoped I didn't hurt Him too badly but I'd made my decision. I was going tomake love with this Bahamian guyI was talking to and become an “adult”- finally. I was sick of being out of the loop concerning this sex thing that everyone was so excited about. (Sad, I know...) As soon as I ended this monologue and turned off my car's ignition, a woman approached my car and shoved a flyer inside my window. I figured she was selling something so I didn't pay it much attention until she directed me to her slogan "maintaining your virginity until you find your identity". I bursted out with laughter!!! She stepped back a little... clearly offended that I would laugh at her noble cause. I explained to her that my laughter was motivated by raw joy and shock that the Lord had sent her across my path with such EXCELLENT timing.