The Twilight Zone

By Robin Caldwell

You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension: a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You’re moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You’ve just crossed over into … The Twilight Zone … (Rod Serling)

I remember it well, it was a Thursday. On that particular Thursday, it appeared as though much of everything I’d ever wanted or hoped for was being delivered right into my lap by the hand of God Almighty – the Giver of all good and perfect gifts; the Father of all creation; and the one who loved me. For the first time in ages, I felt so blissful and blessed; all warm and fuzzy on the inside. I felt like a little girl at Christmas, waiting for the moment when I could open my presents.

You see, it wasn’t as simple as receiving what I desired but also receiving what I needed at what I perceived to be the eleventh hour or last minute.

On that Thursday, I was praising the Lord and singing, He’s an on time God, yes he is… Oh my goodness, I cried with joy believing that He had answered my prayers. Please know that I was happy, happy, and even happier.

Within 48 hours, there had been a total reversal of fortune. It was all gone. Poof! And not only had everything disappeared, anything else that could go wrong did go wrong – ridiculously, laughably wrong!

By Saturday morning, I was in the fetal position, staring at a wall and wondering what exactly did Job’s wife mean when she said, “Curse God and die.” Of course, the closest thing I came to curses was that I silently mouthed “why” every fifteen minutes or so, which made me look like a bumbling idiot in public. And given the way I felt, if God killed me for that, I honestly wouldn’t have noticed.

Robin had entered The Twilight Zone or TTZ, for short. I had literally moved into another dimension of sound, sight and mind. It was a land of shadow and substance, of things and ideas. In a matter of two days, I’d crossed over from the land of bliss and certainty to the land of disappointment, uncertainty and bewilderment. If I tell you that I felt like I was living the surreal life, it would be the total truth.

Not one thing made sense and according to my friends and the Word of God, I was to be thankful to God for even The Twilight Zone. “Thank Him in all things, sis,” they said. And, I was suppose to bless and praise His holy name in the midst of what appeared to be the most bizarre and craziest moment in my life.

Keeping a happy face when I want to wail has never been my gift.

Ilka, my sister friend, snapped her fingers in my face, loudly. “Rob! Rob, come back, girl. You’re getting that look in your eyes, again. Don’t go there.”

“Go where?!” I asked, looking at her as sanely as possible. I really wanted to say that I thought I deserved to look a little crazy given I didn’t understand the sudden turn of events. I dared to cry lest she slap me silly and call 9-1-1, so I simply sucked it up and played okay though institutionalization would be an answer to two of my three issues.

Later in the evening, I asked another friend, Denise, “Is this some crazy mess or what?” Before she could open her mouth, I continued my rant on the unfairness of life and all of its unpredictable twists and turns. During one of the few times I let her get a word in edgewise, I interrupted her –she paused entirely too long—and I began yet another rant-slash-meandering.

How could God allow this? What did I do? What do I need to do? Am I crazy, Lord? What didn’t I do? What is God doing? Why…? Why not…? Where…? Who? How…?

Denise assured me of something I hadn’t even considered – I really didn’t need to understand what was going on but only believe that God was in control.

“Remember, ‘trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your path,’?” she asked.

I remembered. And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the beginning of my exit from The Twilight Zone.

Too often I, and many other Christians, will wrack our brains trying to understand circumstances and situations that defy our earthly logic. We, in effect, want and need an answer for everything. I know I do. I try to intellectualize everything – everything! If I cannot wrap my brain around something, then I panic. And the reason why I panic is because I falsely believe that I have to fix everything that goes wrong in my life – whether I caused it or not.

Also I’m from that school of Christian thought that refuses to believe God would just allow something to happen for the heck of it. Nope, I belong to that school of thought that says things happen because you either did something or didn’t do something. Good things happen because you’re good and bad things happen because you’re bad. The things that happen to us – good, bad, indifferent – are all consequences and all about us.

Unfortunately, that school of thought isn’t substantiated in Scripture. God had a long conversation with Job about that very matter that ended with Job acknowledging that God does what in the world He wants to do, when He wants to do it, how He wants to do it and to whom He wills, and our goodness has nothing to do with it. That would certainly explain why some bad people prosper and some really good people suffer; wouldn’t it?

“‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55: 8-9)

I simply conceded to the fact that as strange as my circumstances appeared to me they made perfectly good sense to God and that was all that mattered. So I could be embarrassed, bewildered and even disappointed, but it had no bearing whatsoever on what God was doing in my life. Whatever His reasons, I had to trust that it would all work out for my good and that I’d understand it better in the by and by – if ever.

Also I thought that if I needed an explanation for the adversity, then I would ultimately need an explanation for the good times. I would never think to ask God “Why?” whenever He did something I deemed wonderful for me. And in His world, all things – miracles and adversities – work together for good, which makes them blessings.

God knows this was certainly a place I was unaccustomed to; it was foreign because I, like most human beings, thrive on the predictable and logical. But one of the greatest mysteries of God is that He often wills circumstances that truly can be characterized by another dimension in sight, sound and mind. And the yielded soul simply has to respect that and live with the outcome of His choices even if it’s in The Twilight Zone.