GC Valentine’s Day Message: Is it Okay?

By Robin Caldwell

George bound into the house like he always does after school: full of energy, life and missing half of his clothing. The hat he left with in the morning – gone and one of his new gloves was missing. All I could think was that it’s icy cold outdoors and the little boy had his coat wide open and flapping in the wind. The mama in me shook her head yet still delighted in seeing his beautiful caramel face.
“You know I love you, right?” I asked George, kind of hoping he’d say yes.
“Yes,” he said, shyly.
I smiled, hearing the smile in his eight year old voice, so I decided to push the envelope. “You love me, right?”
His grandma, my friend Wanda was standing nearby and I heard her chuckle after George whispered something. “Well, do you love me, George?” I asked once again.
Wanda peeked out of the kitchen to tell me that George whispered, “Can I, Grandma?” We both fall out laughing, because it’s probably one of the first times George had to negotiate a relationship while attempting to be loyal to another one of his loves, his grandmother.
“I told him it’s okay,” smiled Wanda. I mouthed my thanks to her and waited for George, who doesn’t fail me.
“Yeah, I love you,” he finally said and that was enough for me.
George just wanted to make sure that his grandma didn’t feel shortchanged in his loving me. I don’t blame him one iota. Yes, it was probably his first time negotiating love, but it certainly won’t be his last.
The evening before Valentine’s Day I would sit around the dining room table as a grade school kid and pour over a list of students in my class to decide who would get a valentine greeting and treat and who would not. It was just as political as George’s exchange with his grandmother. I constantly questioned “Is it okay?” to give this one a card without offending that one or “Is it okay?” to not give this one a card without being so obvious. Like George, I didn’t want to shortchange anyone or hurt any feelings.
Invariably, I would have someone make a trip to the store to pick up another box of valentines so I could just spread the love liberally and without regret. I would even give someone I didn’t like a valentine and that took care of that.
The older and prayerfully more mature that I become, the more I realize God never asks “Is it okay?” Obviously, He doesn’t need anyone’s permission to love, and that’s a great thing, because it would be awful to know He’s as fickle as we are. It would be awful to know that He’s as political as we are too.
There was a day when I was negotiating my love for someone who was particularly and especially difficult. My spirit kept tugging at me to demonstrate love to the person but my flesh tugged back and I said “I can’t, Lord. I just can’t do it.” I took a deep breath, sat back to relax and then I heard, “Yes you can.” And then I heard in my spirit, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son…”
What became abundantly clear to me was that (1) God is not a respecter of persons; (2) God shows love to even the unlovable and (3) Jesus told us that love counted most when we gave it to the difficult and unlovable. Essentially, there is no negotiation, He loves and we are required to love too; and the proof is in the gift He gave without scouring a list of who deserves to receive it and who should not. He didn’t turn to Jesus and ask, “Is it okay if I sacrifice You for this one or that one?”
I premised years ago, as a new follower of Christ, that Jesus asked us to do some of the hardest things that war against our nature like making disciples or other followers, caring for the least of these and loving others as we would love ourselves. And interestingly, you cannot make another follower unless you care for the least of these and demonstrate love.
Today, I promise myself to work on that love walk a little better. I promise to do a lot less negotiating and a lot more demonstrating. And the blessing is that I won’t have to ask God “Is it okay?” I know better …
Happy Valentine’s Day!