Tied to Greatness: Everything Old Becomes New Again

Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. – Proverbs 22: 6 NKJ

Charles Doss had a special closet for his neckties. It was a small closet but it housed at least 100 or more ties; and it housed his history. Every necktie he’d received as a gift from me and other family was in that closet as were his work ties and ties from his youth.

As a boy, Charlie and his brothers James and Earl were required to wear neckties to school and to church. Their daddy, Grandpa Charles made them wear a necktie. Grandpa Charles taught his boys how to tie a Windsor knot.

I don’t recall seeing my granddad without a necktie very often. He opted to wear the U. S. Postal Service issued necktie with his uniform, and except for extremely hot days, he always wore a necktie to carry mail on his route.

As a teenager, he taught me how to tie his necktie, believing I’d have to do so for my husband and for my son one day. I’ve yet to have a husband or son, but the lesson has not been wasted. Years ago, when I worked in the metropolitan school system, I bought a bag full of neckties from a resale shop, cleaned them and took them to the high school where I was stationed. One by one, I pulled a few boys aside and put the ties on them but not before teaching them how to tie a necktie.

For black men in this country, particularly old school gents like my uncle, James, wearing a necktie is the one thing that makes them feel important and of course, well put together and groomed. Black men know they are received differently when they look like they care about their appearances and when they walk in a certain authority. Wearing a necktie symbolized respectability, dignity and privilege.

Unfortunately, our current culture has little regard for the necktie and what it symbolizes. It’s hard to tell the difference from the boy who is an honor student from the boy slinging rocks on the corner. Sagging trousers, white tees and hooded jackets is the uniform of choice for many urban black kids. And sagging trousers are the bane of some municipalities’ existence as legislation has been written to ban this uniform.

Many boys do not have male role models, fathers and other men in their lives to teach them the fundamentals of grooming let alone how to tie a necktie. It’s a rite of passage for most young men in western culture, but it is not a rite of passage for the young man who sees no purpose in tying a tie.

A friend, minister and author Alex O. Ellis would add that while the boy sees no purpose in tying a necktie, that same boy cannot fathom his own purpose. Ellis premises that black men are tied to greatness and it’s time to walk in it. He premises that it’s time to pass on that greatness, like the lesson in tie tying, to African American boys.

At the start of Black History Month, Ellis and 249 men will gather together in the historic Abyssinian Baptist Church in Harlem, NY to teach 500 high school age young men how to tie a necktie. In addition, a panel of black men in leadership will talk to those young men about what it means to be great; about the power of image; and perhaps about the first time some elder took them to the side and taught them how to tie a necktie.

Alex O. Ellis has appeared to have tapped into the heartbeat of God with this project that will travel to ten more cities by May 2. Though the media hasn’t been swift to cover Tied to Greatness, an underground, grassroots movement of black men have taken this project and run with it. And these black men run the gamut from hip hop moguls to leaders in industry, entertainment and sports – they are young, old and in-between.

The beauty of this project is that it’s men taking care of their own. This is a new history in the making, where black men are coming together nationwide and teaching boys something as valuable as how to tie a tie. Moreover, the boy leaves with a necktie of his own but also a gift that keeps on giving; he will know how to tie a tie and own one for a job interview or an interview with a college.

So no matter if daddy isn’t around or if daddy or mom doesn’t know how to tie a necktie, boys nationwide will learn something they can pass on to friends and other family members. And the hope is that one day they will be able to teach their own sons how to tie a necktie too.

My granddad believed you have to respect yourself first before you can make anyone else respect you. He and countless other black men on the heels of a major race maelstrom in this country needed something that made them feel special and respectable. And to many of them it was the necktie.

Who said that everything old becomes new again? I don’t know, but I do know that if minister and author Alex O. Ellis has his way, the symbol of old – a necktie – will become new again. It will become new again one man, one boy and one tie at a time.